It is one of the most pinnacle moments in your life, your wedding day! For most engaged couples, it is their first time getting married and even if it is not, you want to have a smooth experience in not only your wedding day but all of the planning details leading up to the big day. With so many questions circling, one that may continuously arise is are you making the right decisions and how to prevent mayhem as you say, I Do!
Here are guided tips to assist hosting a mayhem free wedding.
Preventative Advice: Vendor Reliability
- Hire reputable and experienced professional wedding vendors.
- Before hiring a professional wedding vendor, see what other say by getting references from previous couples or other wedding professionals. It is okay to ask your wedding vendor for references!
- The Vendor’s Backup Plan. Engage your vendor in conversation on how they manage chaos to see if they will be able to handle situations without you or guest experiencing or witnessing the chaos. In addition, inquire with your vendor if they have a plan of action if for some reason, they are not able to perform your wedding; who takes on their role?!
- Silence is not golden! After you have contracted with your vendor, be sure to stay in contact with them with updates; this will give you peace of mind hearing their voice their business is still operational and that they still remember the details of your special day. If you contract, 12-months prior to your wedding day then I recommend connecting with your vendor every 2-months.
- When in Doubt! My Grandfather always told me to trust my gut! Same here with planning a wedding and your interaction with the vendors you hire. The moment you begin to have a feeling of self-doubt, stop, and listen to yourself. This is the time to engage your vendor in conversation regarding your uneasiness to see if things can be resolved. Secondly, begin implementing a back up plan which may include finding an alternative vendor.
- No Contract, No Business. Be sure to get a contract from “all” of your vendors. Contracts help to keep both parties transparent and in good faith about the services being offered and there are no surprises. Never hire a vendor if you do not have a contract.
Preventative Advice: Guest Experience
- Manage Guest Expectations at the Start. Set the rules and stay firm with your guest requirements to include whether no kids and the requirements for a plus one. Weddings are a huge investment and friends/family members once they get over their emotions will understand the financial commitment you are putting forth and will listen. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries.
- Magically appearing guests on Wedding Day. Family and friends genuinely believe they are special to you and literally take it as no rules apply to them. They will forget but not forget to RSVP because somehow you knowingly knew they were coming (note – they did not rsvp to you!) and magically appear to your wedding! How do you manage this situation? As the advice above, get ahead by setting the tone and being firm with your expectations of your RSVP process; do not be intimidated to enforce. Create this plan of action within 30-days prior to your wedding day as you will be closer to finalizing your headcount. First, be sure to call all your guests who you did not receive and rsvp to get a verbal rsvp. On wedding day, what happens to the magically appearing guest(s)? Your plan of action can include they can wait around till after dinner to join the dancing portion; this way you do not have to worry about extra seating and meal costs. Another option is to have them wait to make sure everyone has been seated for dinner and if you happen to have a few no-shows, then they can be seated at that person’s seat and receive their meal.
Preventative Advice: Family Dynamics
Families are filled with love, laughter, and support for one another. Families are not perfect and there are times when the dynamics of family love can be a little challenging. This unloving experience is something you want to prevent on your wedding day. The first step to overseeing family dynamics, is to know your family limitations. Another is to have a family meeting (3-6 months prior) to discuss what this day means to you and have everyone agree to be peaceful for just a moment in time to celebrate with you. Lean into having a family moderator – someone who will manage any family disruptions so that you do not have to be aware and damper your spirits. Lastly when it comes to seating, be strategic with your seating placement during the ceremony and reception to keep the interactions between individuals to a minimum. And the final draw, decide is it worth having that person at your wedding versus having a peaceful and memorable occasion for you to enjoy.
- Wedding/Event Insurance. It is a momentous occasion that is to be treasured for a lifetime. As you begin the planning process of creating your wedding day, it is imperative to protect your investment. Special event insurance (as it is called), has policy protection to shield your wedding day against cancellations due to natural and manmade perils or military deployment, vendors/venues going out of business, lost or damaged wedding rings, dresses, and more. Consider purchasing your wedding insurance at the time you begin the planning process but no later than 4 to 6 months prior to your wedding. Be sure to read the policies in detail and that you are covered for event cancellation and liability.
Overall relax and with advanced planning, you will be able to think strategically to create a plan that will prevent when things do not go as planned.